Saturday, September 3, 2005

dos

Pisco / Paracas

Morning

This morning I woke up at five. I gazed at Christina for a few seconds, then went back to sleep.

Then I woke up at six. I woke up Wade so I would have some company. He made me go back to sleep.

Then I woke up at eight. I woke up Wade again (what´s the point of having a travelling companion if they can´t be there for you in your neediest moments?). Then I went to the bathroom and then back to sleep.

I woke up a final time at ten o´clock.

Pisco - Paracas

Pisco is a small town. We only spent about ten minutes in Pisco proper, walking through Plaza de Armas and through the market. Wade bought a charming monkey wallet. We found a combi bound for Paracas and hopped on board. Every several hundred feet, the combi would stop and a woman would hand over a straw lunch box through the window to the driver-helper-boy (DHB) with some money. The combi held about fifteen people and twenty-five lunches. As we neared Paracas, the combi would stop every few blocks, and the DHB would hop out with a few lunches and drop them at the security gate of buildings. It was a lunch delivery system!! Peru is awesome!

We are headed to the National Reservation of Paracas, which according to the Good Book, contains wild animals and guano (bird shit!! it´s an export!!). We have a quick lunch of bread and cheese and piƱa Nutri Grain, then walk through the boardwalk and into a neighborhood in the direction we presume to be the Park. A uniformed policeman informs us that it is too far, but we decide he is in cahoots with the taxi driver to his left, and so ignore him.

We walk and walk and walk, through a neighborhood that leads to beautiful beachfront homes. Do Peruvians have money like this? We imagine they may be condos or timeshares, and discuss the possibility of sitting in their lawns to rest. We continue.

where the sidewalk ends

Eventually, the beach homes give way to sandy desert. We walk and walk and walk on a sidewalk next to the water, talking about LIFE and LOVE and HOLY SHIT WHERE WILL I BE IN FIVE YEARS. We walk and walk and walk, and find ourselves parallel to the Park entrance, only far, far away through the sand. We decide not to pay, and instead to take our sidewalk to the park. Only, it ends. The sidewalk ends. All of a sudden. In the middle of the sand, the sidewalk simply stops.

We eat another lunch of apples and manjar, apricots, and peanut butter M&Ms. A short discussion later, we are in agreement that we don´t actually have to REACH the Park. We had a great time walking and catching up, we saw some awesome Peruvian desert, and honestly, our efforts were enough to claim that we went there. So, internet, today we went to Paracas National Reserve. It was awesome.

On our way back to Pisco, we catch a combi with twenty-one people inside.

the end of the day

What a long day. We pack up and catch a bus to Ica, just as it is pulling out of the station. We have us some mean luck, we do. The bus is moving as we walk aboard, and I have to grab ahold of seats as I pass. We walk to the back and dump our packs on some empty seats, taking our own seats across the aisle. Sadly enough people board the bus along the way that we are forced to sit with our packs. Wade is sitting pinned against the seat back with his pack on his lap. I am half sitting / half crouched on my seat with my pack in front of me. My right leg just barely fits in between Wade´s leg and my pack, and my left leg is all bent and pointed skyward, in the manner of gyno stirrups. I try to jam it down, but my pack is too big and in the way. Thus I remain, for twenty minutes. I begin to feel like I have to pee. Not an ideal position.

When the bus pulls into Ica, we flag down a tico-taxi to Huacachina. At this point, pee situation is quite urgent. Tico-taxi drops us off at Hostel de Avida, a COOL, LOUD, RESORTY HOSTEL. SEE HOW LOUD IT IS? I HAVE TO SHOUT.

There is a central, multi-layered plaza with rooms surrounding and overlooking it, and the whole thing feels very open and fresh. There is also a swimming pool. I consider going swimming, but think better of it, as you shouldn´t jump in a dark pool whose cleanliness you didn´t check in the light of day. Wade conks out on the bed, and I write postcards home in faux Spanish.

We take dinner in the hostel, dinner of (surprise!) cheese sandwhich. I must admit here that Thai cheese sandwhiches beat Peru cheese sandwhiches. SO FAR.

This being a COOL, LOUD RESORT, we liquor it up! The national drink of Peru is called a Pisco Sour, and every single food establishment advertises their Pisco Sours with large fonts and loud colors. This COOL, LOUD RESORT is no exception, so we order two and sit on a swingy chair on the pool patio. Pisco Sour is made from Pisco, a locally produced grape brandy, bitters, egg, and sweet & sour. It is OK. We watch our fellow travelors drink and dance, and then go to bed.


What did we learn today?

Wade: It will take him several days to get used to civilization.
Adina: Peru has many, many more pineapple products than USA. 1

Friday, September 2, 2005

uno

LIMA

I chose the hostel in Miraflores for two reasons:

  1. Lonely Planet, my bible, said it was popular with Israelis
  2. It was called the Witches' House

The Witches' House was everything and more. A tudor style mansion in the middle of a quiet neighborhood. A crude picture of a witch drawn on the front gate. Lots of 'Raelis. Lots of beds. Internet. DVDs. Cheap.

In the morning I found Wade in the living room. YAY, WADE!!! (Hi, Wade!) He had just met two nice Israeli girls, Donna and Yael, who were also beginning their trip in Peru. Turns out Donna worked last summer as a Mishlachat at Hess Kramer! There are only four Jews!! After Wade repacked my pack, the four of us set off to central Lima. I had a successful go at the Aeromexico office, changing my tickets to stay an extra week.

Lime is a huge city, with traffic, poverty, loud noises, and trash. We spent all day walking around with our packs gazing about as if on drugs. A summery of our peulot:
  • We witness the changing of the guard at the Palace of the Plaze de Armas. Much like Buckingham Palace in London, only the crowd gathered to watch was mostly locals.
  • See a ginormous and beautiful Cathedral
  • Banco Museum of Money, which has on display Peru´s past currency. Sigh.... USA has the most boring paper bills. When will we get colors? When will we get differently-sized bills? When will we get a kick-ass hero pictured, like Tupac Amaru, the cowboy-hat-wearing native who started an Inca revolution against the Spanish?
  • Patronize a panderia and buy cheese and unknown conitas de manjar. Manjar turns out to be caramel, and is now our favorite word. MANJAR, HOW I LOVE THEE.
  • A protest (for education?) is going on, and one of the major streets is blocked off from traffic. We sit in the center divider, eating bread and cheese. A gang of kids comes to keep us company. We give them bread. They are cute until they start spitting on my back. As they leave they start play-fighting in the blocked-off street.
  • Museo Monastary de San Francisco. I must quote the bible here: The underground catacombs are are the site of an estimated 70,000 burials and the faint-hearted may find the bone-filled crypts unnerving - if only for the conservationalist's bizarre decision to rearrange the skulls and femurs into striking rings of concentric circles. FABULOUS.
  • Adina and Wade gain instant celebrity status as a school on a feild trip (all wearing matching brown track suits with pictures of Madonna and child on back) cross their paths. They all go fucking nuts waving and shouting HI HI HI and asking our name, mobbing the street corner we stand on, giving high-fives, etc.
  • Stamp Museum of Peru and Post Office. You know how much I like stamps. Adina learns the word sello and Estates Unidos.
  • Metro super market. Who doesn´t love a good, foreign market? It is here we first see frankfurters in a jar, and buy our first container of manjar.
  • Pass a building with naked tiger-mermaid doorknobs
  • Walk a bazillion miles (ten blocks) to bus station, where we are told they don´t have busses to Pisco for the rest of the day. Luckily, before Adina loses her shit, we find out that a different company down the block has a bus. We buy tickets and the bus leaves five minutes later.


On the four-hour bus ride to Pisco, we are shown two disturbing yet bizzarly captivating movies, one a martial arts movie dubbed in Spanish with English subtitles, and two that featured a baby with four eyes (two in each pupil) floating in a jar of formaldehyde. Sadly, we left the bus before we could figure out what happened.

In Pisco, we stay at the wonderful Hostel Belin. Most definitely the best part of the hostel was the large, framed poster of Christina Aguilera above our headboard. God Bless Hostel Belin. 1

airport

at the airport...

FINALLY IN PERU!!!! At the airport, while in line for customs, the bloke in front of my turned around and started talking to me about travelling in Peru. His name was Kim, and he was from Australia, tooling around South America for who-knows-how-long. (I don´t know how long because he didn´t know how long.) I guess I am as white as they come, and therefor clearly a tourist, "safe" for another gringo to talk to. We ended up sharing a cab to the hostel in Miraflores, but not before we were followed around the entire parking lot and back up to the second floor of the airport by Juan, a guide slash taxi driver slash tour tout slash most annoying person ever. I was trying to find the Aeromexico Airlines office, in order to switch my plane ticket, and Kim said that he would come with me. Kim made the STUPID ERROR of talking to said annoyance Juan instead of saying NO really loudly and then ignoring him while striding forward at a brisk pace. Juan kept trying to lead us around and give us advice, but I am really wary of foreign people approaching me trying to help. I have found that ninety three percent of the time they just want to take you to their buddy´s restuarant or their sister´s cloth store. I like figuring things out for myself, taking a long time to think about how to procede, so that I don´t get ripped off.

Aeromexico office was closed, and that is when Kim made SECOND STUPID ERROR by letting Juan take us in his "taxi" to our hostel. We were going to the neighborhood of Miraflores, to a hostel near a plaza called Plaza Bolognesi. We agreed upon a price to Miraflores with Juan. Halfway there he asks for the address, and I tell him it is norte de Plaza Bolognesi. He takes us to a Plaza Bolognesi and asks to have the address. Hostel doesn´t exist. I show Juan the map, and he gets all huffy and mad at me because my hostel is on the Plaza in MIRAFLORES, while he has taken us to the Plaze in CENTRAL LIMA. CLEARLY IT IS ALL MY FAULT.

Juan demands twice the price plus airport tax to take us to Miraflores, despite the price we had agreed on at the airport. Kim the useless turd does nothing. I get really mad at Juan but my Spanish sucks at this point and he is the one at the wheel, so I am rather at his mercy. Juan drives us to the correct hostel and helps unload our bags. We pay his exorbitant fee. And then Juan has the balls to stand there with a faux worried expression, head shaking, hands outstretched, asking, TEEP? NO TEEP?

NO TIP, JUAN. SUCK IT.

Ripped off my first night here. Awesome! 1

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

en route

down, down, down...

On the plane, it occurs to me that this is my first time below the equator! I feel as though maybe I have missed out my entire life by never venturing south. I am super excited about this new experience, but begin to wonder... Will I be able to tell? Will I feel it in my body? Will my center of gravity feel differently? Will I be as tall?

Most importantly, will my carabeener compass work???


(This was by far my dumbest moment.)

manzana con sprite

Joy of all joys, I just ordered my first drink in Spanish!!!

"Manzna con Sprite," I say to the flight attendant.

He looks at me funny and repeats, "Manzana con Sprite?"

I nod. He asks if I want ice, but that I totally miss, only nod when he motions to the ice box. Then he asks me to tell him how much manzana to pour, I realize because he is looking at me with eyebrows raised as the juice slooooowly fills the cup. I motion him to stop, he adds the Sprite, and hands over my drink as I proudly declare, "Gracias!"

Internet, yo habla Espanol!

global soda

Those Mexicans sure know a deal when they see one. After watching four seasons of American Idol, the Aeroporte Internacional de Ciudad de Mexico has, from the looks of it, also become sponsored by Coca Cola.

Not only do they have a Coke cafe, Coke napkins, and Coke posters, but there is also a MUSEUM in the international departure lounge solely dedicated to showcasing the evolution of the ubiquitous Coke bottle.

the yum that is Inka Cola

Sadly, you can only find this neon-yellow, bubble gum-flavored, carbonated beverage in Peru.

You can see the bottle and read about it (in Spanish) here. 1

Monday, August 29, 2005

pre-trip details

totally tentative, totally flexible itinerary

DAY ONE: arrive in Lima at the butt crack of dawn. Find Adina dead asleep hunched over her luggage in the terminal. Scare the shit out of her when Wade wakes her up. Find a hostel, walk around with jaws dropped in city center. See pretty buildings, churches, museums.

DAY TWO-FOUR: leave Lima going south. This way we can return to Lima after Machu Picchu and do "civilized" things like shop and eat at tables. Possible things to stop on our way down: Chilca, where they have a mineral-rich lagoon; Pisco-Paracas, where they have a lovely national reserve park and you can take a boat out to Islas Ballestas and see wild animals and guano, yes guano aka bird shit, which is one of their NATIONAL EXPORTS; Ica, where there is a cool city and neat museums that showcase "scarily well-preserved mummies of everything from children to a small macaw, trepanned skulls and shrunken trophy heads, enormous wigs and tresses of hair, plus a fascinating scientific display on what can be discovered from examining the skeletal remains" HOW FUCKING AWESOME; Huacachina, which is that lagoon oasis in the middle of sand dunes where you can sand-board; Nazca, where there are those cool lines etched in the ground that you can see from an airplane (or from here); Sacaco, a beach made with crushed shells and fossilized crocodile teeth.

DAY FIVE-SIX: Hit Arequipa, the white colonial city at the base of the Andes. From here we can do a one-two day long mini-trek to go to Canon del Coca, the deep deep canyon. On this trek there are other cool things, like the condor watch, thermal hot springs, snow-capped volcanos.

DAY SEVEN-EIGHT: Lake Titicaca and area, plus travel time. Acclimation to high altitude. This country is huge, man.

DAY NINE: Cuzco, the ancient colonial and Inca city. Acclimation to high altitude.

DAY TEN-FOURTEEN: Inca trail and Maccu Picchu. Shit, we have run out of time. My plane leaves any second. Fly back to Lima. Maybe we could spend less time on the south coast. FYI it takes 16 hours by bus to go from Lima to Arequipa.

Alternatively, we can start in Lima and go immediately to Cuzco (a 30 hour bus ride, barf), do the Inca Trail first, and then meander from the southern tip back up the coast and fly back to Lima from Arequipa. Hmm. I will think about this. Although the prospect of going to a mummy museum is AWESOME, I think it would be neater to spend more time in the Andes. They are the fucking Andes, after all.
(7/24/05)

Operation Train for Peru

wow, I am addicted to this exercise thing.

Yesterday, after many, many strenuous hours sitting on my couch and not leaving the apartment, I actually got this incredible urge to get up and MOVE. And so I hauled my ass to the gym (*gasp* no one is more surprised than I), where I still have two more months of membership before it runs out and UCLA takes over. I started off on the treadmill, and after my mile of running (alternating 3.7 with 5.4, 5.6, and 5.8), I realized that I was going to have to be in great shape to be able to hike Machu Picchu at altitude without troubles. So I stayed on that machine for another fifteen minutes, at a moderate pace (3.7) but at a steep incline (6.0). At this point, the sweat was literally dripping down my face and neck. I got my heart rate down, did a sprint for a minute (6.4), and walked the remainder of the two miles. Then I stretched. And then I did the bike for ten more minutes. Why? Because ironically, MY BODY WAS ASKING FOR IT.

I had that high that you get after you've been working yourself for about twenty minutes, but not working yourself so hard that you want to just lay on the floor and die. It was that feeling that I pushed myself this far, why not keep pushing? (This feeling is probably cousins with the feeling you get when you eat three brownies, and then think, "Why not three more?")

As an incentive to continue my fitness regime, I took out Augusten Burrows' "Magical Thinking" on CD from BevHillsLib, so that I would have something to listen to while running.

Miraculously, today I made it to the gym again and did the same workout BUT ADDED FIVE MINUTES OF INTENSE SIT-UPS. Am I insane, or what? (ComPLETEly insane, when you consider that in January, when I initiated my membership, I would meander around the gym trying out every machine for about sixteen seconds, at which point I would become bored and switch. My gym visits back in the day lasted a whole eleven minutes.)

I imagine that after a month of this craziness I will have the lithe, muscular body of a go-go dancer, the body I had in high school, but better and with boobs. As I sit at my desk typing, my stomach and sides are already aching tremendously. But it will be totally worth it, because guess what? I'm gonna bag me a Peruvian boyfriend.
(7/28/05)

new Peru itinerary

everything is dependent upon whether or not I can change my tickets to stay a week longer. I have been crossing my fingers for 2 weeks now, and I will continue to cross them until I arrive in Lima, go to the Aeromexico office in the airport, and make the switcheroo.

Sept 1 arrive, change plane ticket, taxi to hostel, sleep, Wade come, museums, post office (I am not kidding about the post office. Apparently it is really cool. It gets its own paragraph in Lonely Planet, my bible. Plus if I want postcards to reach the States while I am still gone, I have to send them the second we arrive.)
Sept 2 Pisco/Paracas and wild animals
Sept 3 Ica/Huacachina, sand boarding
Sept 4 Nazca, night bus to Arequipa (do we need to go to Nazca?)
Sept 5 Arequipa, monastary, frozen ice princess, churches, Canon del Colca trek
Sept 6 Canon del Colca, bus to Puno
Sept 7 Lake Titicaca, islands, sleep over on islands?
Sept 8 bus to Cuzco
Sept 9 trek?
Sept 10 trek?
Sept 11 trek?
Sept 12 trek?
Sept 13 trek?
Sept 14 (If no ticket, plane to Lima in morning. If new ticket, stay in Cuzco another day)

Sept 15 Lima? north coast? go slower up above?
Sept 16
Sept 17
Sept 18
Sept 19
Sept 20
Sept 21
(8/23/05)

I can't help that I have Baltic blood

I applied fake-tanner today and plan to do a second coat on Tuesday. That way, I will be TAN TAN TAN and my Peru pics will look like normal vacation pictures in reverse: starts out really kissed by the sun, ends up pasty.
(8/27/05)

I no speaking espanish

Inspired by Nathan's experiences in Peru, today, in my head, I figured out what I would do if my Visa card got stuck in the ATM. Since I only know six words in Spanish, my imaginary encounter with the Peruvian banker was quite a feat. It went like this:
--------------------------------
me: Pardon? No hablo Espanol. Uno mimento?

banker: Looks up at the dumb American girl

me: Me gusta dinero. Dinero automati -- (here I ouline the square shape of the ATM screen). Yo -- (mime walking up to it, sticking my card in, pressing numbers.)

banker: Blank, indescernable gaze

me: Yo quiera mucho dinero. Sol. [That's the name of the Peruvian money.] (mime pressing buttons. Stand there, as if waiting for my money. Tilt head ever so slightly, as if still waiting for my money but slightly confused as to where it is.) Donde dinero? Donde? No dinero! Yo -- (point to self, then mime looking at my watch and tapping it, then glaring at ATM screen) Donde dinero??? No dinero!
--------------------------------

I hope you realize that only half of the "Spanish" words I used are real. In order to get the real gist of my daydream, you have to imagine me using big, swooping, exaggerated hand movements. Wide enough that Wade, standing to my left (again, IN MY HEAD), has to take a few steps back to avoid being hit. Thanks, American Sign Language, for teaching me to visually set up a scene using just my hands and body.

I realize now I am the biggest dork, not because I don't know Spanish, but because I had THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION in my mind.

Sunday, April 21, 2002

day five

DAY FIVE
We started the day walking by a giant statue of "Mother Pussia" and her two children. Then onto the home visits in Ternopol. No van today. (Shabbas Koydesh)

  • First apartment was very large and nicely decorated. Belonged to these two old ladies who talked about the war the entire time. Much of their stories were lost in translation. One alluded to the fact that she was in a camp liberated by the Soviets.
  • Favorite Babushka grandma with a pudgy dough face and grey eyes. Very thick ankles. She was wearing a million layers of clothes. This woman was SO CUTE. She sang along to Dyenu in this high operatic voice. Her apartment was very cheery with bright yellow walls. She was the most heart-breaking thing, though. After we finished our first song, she started crying. She said, "You come to sing and make me so happy, but then you leave." "I wish I could come with you." She also told us that we make her feel young again, and that one day we will be old, too.
  • Third lady marched around her apartment wearing a short, tight polyester dress and white open-toes heels. It was freezing. Her hair was three different colors (not unlike many of the Ukrainian women we saw in the town). She spoke a million words a minute and had lost her short-term memory. She acted like she was on speed. She used to be a music teacher, so we told her we would sing for her and she could give us our marks. After we sang she told us that we got full marks for amateurs, but we were not yet at a professional level.

Then on to our hunting lodge oops I mean restaurant for lunch, while the girls went and got pizza. Very good food, but the atmosphere was too creepy to enjoy oneself without a creepy feeling, especially with Andre the guard and Scary KGB Chesed guy, who at one point all but demanded that I give him a key-chain as a present. This is what I wrote while at the restaurant: We are sitting in a hunting lodge restaurant. The table cloth is dark green velvet, with a square of red plaid under the centerpiece. The walls are decorated with guns in glass cases, mounted deer heads/antlers/feet, and dioramas of vultures preying on little furry animals. Ukrainian MTV is playing in the corner. The best part is our company. Andre the guard, the Very Russian Lady with Bangs from Chesed, and Scary KGB Chesed guy, who keeps winking at me. The only person who speaks English is Andre, who doesn't really speak English. I would never ever step into this sort of establishment anywhere else in the world.

Major major bonding with the girls. We went to buy Esther a Bday card, then off to the hairdresser where Alona got her hair snipped and I got a nifty manicure for under two dollars! Me and Meeps observed the Ukrainian women getting god-awful very layered haircuts and three-toned dye jobs. (serious situation.) Adam and Andre sat in the corner looking uncomfortable. Then off to Europa restaurant (the green room this time) where we ate deeeeeelicious ice cream. On the way home stopped at a liquor store and purchased kosher-for-Pesach potato vodka. In our hotel room we toasted our seder successes and wrote a clever (if I do say so myself) Pesach/Ukraine themed musical. (you can find the fruits of our labor under "songs." )

Random story that I forgot to put in before: At our two big seders there was this thirty-forty something guy there, who wore a grey baret and kept staring at me with his squinty eyes. He really creeped me out. Until he came up to me at the end of the seder and game me a Kopek, an old Soviet coin!!
Quote of the day: "It's too bad our interpreter doesn't speak our language." (Adina, re: Andre)

daily horse and stick cart count: 0 (due to being in the city)
daily egg total: 9 (between the three Americans.)

day four

DAY FOUR
This morning, after a yummy breakfast or undercooked runny eggs and salty cheese and onion leaves, we--the three Americans plus Andre our beloved non-tempermental guard-- he really is a doll. We try to communicate in broken English/Russian/Sign Language, but sometimes nothing works so we just say "Nyet Problyenka," which probably means absolutely nothing in Russian, but we all smile and laugh together. Andre (not to be confused with our driver, Andre) always has his door open and when one of us steps out into the hallway, he comes out and stands there against the back-lit window. Rather reminiscent of KGB, Big Brother. But really he is nice and protective, etc. Miriam and I are trying real hard not to fall in love with him, in the manner of Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. Would be bad for Jewish image. So after breakfast we set out to see the Town Square and all the old buildings within it. Numerous photo ops. This is what we saw:

  • Two churches, one with a lovely boys' choir. Both had lots of skinny dead Jesuses hanging from crosses. I don't know, but if I were Christian, I wouldn't want to see my good Lord impaled on a cross every time I went to pray.
  • Statues/busts of Mr. Pushkin, Mr. Ternopol, and some other nice guy but we couldn't figure out who he was due to communication problems with Andre.
  • The department store. Very 1930s. Ukraine is waaaaay behind the times. They were using abacuses to add.
  • Other Town Square fixtures such as the theatre, the little boy throwing things at the pigeons, and the accordion player.

We had a seder in the little village of Chortkov. (This is where Rabbi Levi Hirsch Horowitz is from.) The seder was in a restaurant complex of many rooms, each decorated in a different ugly theme. There were about eight old people and no food. NONE. I don't know if it was because they had no food, or they just didn't organize the seder with food. There was also no heating. So we sat there with our coats and hats on. We had brought up grape juice and matza, so we were able to do Kiddish and Motzi Matza. We went through the entire seder just omitting the eating part. They knew some of the Pesach and Israel songs and some Hebrew words, but they didn't seem to know any of the reasons. Or maybe they did but they just didn't volunteer. I noticed an overabundance of gold teeth in the room. The cutest little woman sitting in the corner was at least 800 years old. Her little wrinkly face was poking out of her blue puffy jacket and gray babushka scarf, big eyes peering out behind enormous round pink glasses. I don't think she said one word the entire seder, but sat in the corner staring and opening and closing her mouth. She was like a little raisin head.

Another guy (actually the only guy) was wearing a felt cap and sitting across from me. He had those Russian bright blue eyes. His face was so wrinkly, as if he grew another wrinkle for every birthday he had. He barely spoke or sang during the seder. Turns out that he was born in that little town and had lived there his entire life-- minus the time he served in the army during the war. We asked him to give us a little tour of the town. When the Ukrainians translated our request for a tour he turned to us and smiled and threw up his hands and cried out "Pajalsta!" (Of Course!), as if he was waiting his whole life to show off his little town. For sure we made his day. Probably his week.

On our tour we saw the Jewish cemetery and the old synagogue. We also saw this poor little pathetic dog that had pink gift-wrap bows stuck to all of its legs and ears. We stopped at a very dirty bathroom, but Miriam didn"t go because "her squatting days are behind her."

Then while we were driving back to our hotel, Scary KGB Chesed guy made us pull over to the side road so that we could admire the first buds of spring poking through the forest undergrowth. GROAN. We thought this was the lamest thing EVER, plus we were already annoyed because we were met with such opposition from our counterparts when we wanted to tour Chortkov. BUT. It turned out to be really cool. I know this is really corny, but it was kind of symbolic how we were celebrating Pesach and renewal and rebirth etc, and we were picking new baby spring flowers. Plus I got a really funny picture of Andre the guard and Scary KGB Chesed guy picking flowers.

We ate dinner at Europa restaurant. Very Euro/Israeli. Ie: nice. This caused us to, of course, be late for our next seder.

The seder/Shabbat dinner was for the Ternopol Chesed youth group. 15 kids aged 15-22. They are very similar to a USY chapter. When we came to Magid, the telling of the exodus from Egypt, we spiced it up a bit by making the story into a musical. (Turns out we are good at spicing things up.) We sang "Pharaoh Pharaoh" numerous times. We threw styrofoam balls at them (hail) and stuck pink stickers on their (and their dog's) faces (boils) during the ten plagues. After the seder we discovered the maximum capacity of our van-- 13 people and one dog-- when we took a bunch of the kids back to our hotel. WE stopped on the way home to say hi to Misha's mom (Misha is the president of the youth group) and her ivy wallpaper and kitchen completely furnished in wood. Us Americans bonded with Andre the guard over tea and chocolate in the hotel restaurant. We discovered that he knows English.

quote of the day: "If we're good, we get to go to the cemetery!

horse and stick cart count: 12