aeropuerte

So we got off to a super awesome start by standing in the world´s longest security line, and then after not moving for approximately ten minutes, Nadiv suggested that maybe we were in the wrong line. I went up and checked and sure enough, we were in Continental´s check in line. (Sucks for them.) Twenty seconds later we were bypassing the line and taking off our shoes for the metal detectors. We neither got patted-down nor radiation scattered. That was sort of a let-down.

Once through, we went searching for Dramamine and power-aid. We went into a candy shop that was selling orange, grape, and other various fruit flavors of lollipops with crickets in them. The clear flavor featured a tequila worm. Nadiv decided that he would most enjoy the grape flavored cricket but I think I would go for the cherry cricket. I almost vomited just writing that sentence. The sign for these delicious candies read, "Sugar-free Candy" but that,s such a non-issue since the second ingredient in all the flavors was, "cricket." Here, I´ll read you the ingredients because I copied them down: hydrogenated starch hydrolysate, cricket, artificial coloring and flavor. Three ingredients. I guess that would satisfy Michael Pollan.

After Nadiv got his hydration needs taken care of, I was blabbing about how much I like the Sobe drink that he gets me from the hospital and how I can´t find it anywhere else in Los Angeles and LOW AND BEHOLD we pass a fast food place and I see a guy holding a Sobe bottle. We stop and get my delicious drink.

You´re probably thinking to yourself how exciting this airport adventure is so far, and guess what, the next segment is a nail-biter. Nadiv lost his plane ticket.

He had to walk back to the cricket candy shop and apparently they paged him over the intercom and he got his ticket back, no problem. I was really nervous for like ninety seconds.

Overall, I would rate our aeropuerto experience a six out of ten, on account of how all of the stores were closed, even the gum and Dramamine kiosk. The flight itself was pretty sucky. We got decent seats next to the window fairly close up, but it was a red-eye and neither of us were able to sleep. The dude in the aisle seat kept coughing and I was freezing and it just sucked. Whatevs. We made it to Panama!